Cousin Leonard

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COUSIN LEONARD

First time that Cousin Leonard came to stay
He was a storm cloud of need.
He started chewin' up a razor blade
The blood ran out through his teeth
He climbed the outside of our house
And only used one hand
Because the other hand
Was tied behind his back
We didn't see him too much after that
My mama says he's just a little out of whack.

His dad was a full-blooded Blackfoot man
He didn't stay very long
And his step-father took the life-long stand
That every thing that Leonard did was wrong
He liked to kick him in the rump
And call him stupid, too.
So one night Leonard called
The police on the phone.
"Dad's killin' mom," he said,
Then stood off and laughed
As they broke down the doors
And ran into their home.

Now, he's been in and out of prison
Like a Phoenix he has risen
But he never gets too far above the heat
One night, he got so drunk they found him
In a toy store, bare-assed naked
With a pile of broken doll parts at his feet
He got a bunch of money
From a drivin' accident
He spent it on room service
In a swank hotel.
He says he just might have to sell his guns
And everybody seems to think it's just as well.

Go, Cousin Leonard!